After the gruesome barrage in last week’s Gospel suggesting the dismemberment of hands and feet, I thought we’d be safe at least for a few weeks. Not!
The Old Testament and Gospel readings today are probably more than you bargained for. Committed relationships, marriage, and divorce are sensitive and emotionally charged entities and can be jam-packed with both good and painful memories. The jokes about these things are barely able to mask the very real heartache that can be a part of fractured relationships.
Like the one about the person who goes to see the Rabbi. "Rabbi, something terrible is happening and I have to talk to you. My spouse is poisoning me. What should I do?"
The Rabbi, very surprised by this, offers, "I’ll tell you what. Let me talk to your spouse. I'll see what I can find out and let you know."
A week later the Rabbi calls this distraught person. "I spoke to your spouse on the phone…for three hours. You want my advice?"
“Of course, that’s why I came to you!” The Rabbi replied, "Take the poison."
Notice that I’ve made this story gender neutral. I suspect that somewhere between 50 to 75% of folks listening to these texts have either been divorced, considered divorce or separation, are the children or parents of divorced people, or have ended a relationship of some significance.
There has been divorce among my relatives. In my practice, I’m currently seeing about six couples in various stages of marital conflict.
Two important truths to bear in mind: In no way does Jesus condemn or judge people who, having entered into marriage, discover that the healthiest thing is to end the relationship, and these texts are not solely about marriage but about the importance of all relationships.
The scene in Mark’s Gospel is another stab the Pharisees are taking to outfox Jesus and force him into a theological corner. “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” they ask. The Pharisees knew well that divorce was allowed and was a common practice.
Torah states that a man may divorce his wife simply by handing her a certificate of divorce and sending her away. The stark inequality, however, is that a woman was not permitted to divorce her husband for any reason. What was good for the goose was not good for the gander.
There were two schools of thought in the Jewish world of the time—one that divorce was only permissible in the case of infidelity; another that it was allowed for just about any reason, including bad cooking. The Pharisees were trying to trap Jesus into taking sides with one of these positions.
I’ve often said that we Episcopalians take the Bible seriously, not literally. Part of that equation means to understand the cultural ethos of the time in which scripture was written. In ancient times, women were second class citizens, rarely owned property, and were to be seen and not heard from. Marriage was a guarantee of support for the most vulnerable members of Jewish society—women and children. Without the protection of the laws against divorce, women were at the mercy of their husbands.
The position Jesus takes in this debate is on the side of the less fortunate and vulnerable—the place he will always land. This is why he references children, who here represent the defenseless, the at-risk, the marginalized.
What Jesus says in this Gospel is by no means the final word on divorce. It is a response to a question posed by his fiercest critics who came with the explicit intention of making a fool of him. Jesus is avowing his support for anyone who is hurt, broken, and made defenseless because of the termination of a relationship.
The Gospel is the Good News of liberation for all God’s people. Today we hear the good news about God’s intention for us. God does not want us to be alone and is on the side of unity, community, and relationship. But God is also on the side of health and wholeness and doesn’t want us to remain in relationships that destabilize those things and are toxic.
All of our associations, unions and convergences—even when there are bumps along the way, even when there is separation— teach us valuable life lessons, sustain and challenge us, and help us to grow. They are gifts from God, sacred steppingstones in our lives and we should be grateful for them all.
Today, in the name of God and of the church I declare God’s blessing on the many and diverse relationships that are a part of our common lives. I bless those of you who are living in covenant with one another.
I bless all of you who live in relationship with your children, your parents, your dearest friends, your colleagues, and your neighbors, and, especially within this amazing community. And I bless any of you who are grieving the loss of a relationship or have needed to leave a difficult one and I ask God’s healing of your broken heart.
I bless all of them because God has long ago and forever blessed them and abides deeply and powerfully in the very midst of them. And in God’s realm, that is not subject to debate. Sorry, Pharisees, you lose this one.
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